thoughts, ideas, expressions
This question has probably manipulated most decisions in the world. I am sure you would agree, we have our own deep thoughts within us and those come to the fore layers of the mind for just few private minutes of our own. We don’t express it explicitly anywhere and even if we do, we may do it in a subtle manner. We are always challenged by this age old question ” What would he/she think? ” or “What would people think?”.
We wear different masks prepared by ourselves for different people and carry on with our lives carrying them in our kitty. More the masks, more heavy we feel. The more heavy we feel, more stressed and frustrated we are. I don’t think I need to give examples here!
For me as an artist, this question is very frustrating. It makes me feel like having multiple personalities. But I can’t separate myself being an artist and a normal human. As a human being, I do have my family, friends and a social circle. These people have created an image of mine in a certain manner and that is how I am expected to behave or perform. If i shy away even a bit or do something radical, then the image is tarnished. That makes me think I shouldn’t have created this image of mine in them and unfortunately I can’t undo things in life. Till date, I have shown nice, beautiful pictures to my audiences and the day I show them something which is explicit, a culture-shock then I know they would shy away from being with me or will not be themselves to me. Ultimately there is this fear of loosing people and other insecurities of peaceful existence which makes us go in feasible tracks in the society. This applies not only to me as an artist, but I guess to each one of us in some way or the other. We just compromise! Yes, COMPROMISE is the word
People have rebelled, thrown out of their families and even countries because they chose not to bother about “What would they think?”. They probably have made their own circle of people to live with, who would understand and care for them or probably have a choice to live all by themselves. It is the way of proclaiming individual freedom and happiness. My mom tries to scare often by saying “There would be none around to cry or help when we are dead! We should be within the society and try to be nice to people in all possible ways!” Huh! We should be nice and kind to people so that they carry us to the grave when we are dead?? lol….an penultimate insecurity!
But i get the message from mom what she is trying to convey. I know she is my genuine well wisher and hats off to her, 90% of the world runs on this ideology. But, I want to be the remaining 10% and I love my mom. “What would she think?!!”